General Transmission

So after it's
all over, I wake
up to find
myself
alone.
A naked body
tangled in
sheets,
hair covering the
pillowcase like a
gunshot...and I
can barely feel
my heart
beat.
It's shuddering
in my chest.
The first morning I've
woken up
without tears standing
in my
lashes,
without biting my pillow
in order to drown
out the heaving screams.
I reach out and grab
the box
of your things, feel
around for
familiar things...
and hold them.
Feel their coldness wake me up.
I fling my hand to my phone,
frantically
find your number, try to reassure
myself that you
haven't disappeared.
I roll to my side, press
the phone to my face, curl up my
legs into my chest, and pretend
that I can hear you speaking.
I nod my head at your imaginary
voice.
MAYBE I CAN HEAR YOU BREATHING.
It hurts to wonder what your
doing.
Perhaps your throwing back your
covers, settling your feet on
your floor.
Perhaps you're just laying there,
just like I am,
pretending I was right next to you.
You're still the only one I want,
You're still the only one I think of,
You're still the only one I plan for.
I made my bed this afternoon,
hoping that if I blinked you would
come in and mess
my sheets up.
I whisper, "Please, come..."
Blink.
"Please...come."
Blink.
"...Please come."
Blink.